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The kitty's new name is Ninja, because he sneaks around really silently, and then shows up out of nowhere and bites your face. I'm not kidding. He's a freaking face-hugger!

Also, my stomach hurts :(

Also....

If you've been reading my journal and came upon some concerning entries about my health, please be assured that I'm feeling much, much saner better now :)

Damn Long Time Since I Posted

I was infatuated with Myspace, but I got tired of the emo-ness, so here I am again.
Look how much weight I've lost since my last post:



Health and weight loss are my focus for this year; I think if I work at it, I can lose the rest of the weight that I want to lose.

So much shit has been happening lately that I don't even want to talk about it. It's over now, and things are getting better again. I was happy last night, and I had to ask Ian what "happy" felt like, because apparently it's been a very long time since I've been genuinely happy, which is kind of sad, but oh well, shit happens.

I think it helps that my current med lineup actually works.

Wow...major changes..

OK, I'm doing so much better now that it's ridiculous. I'm back in Columbus, living with two bi guys who have no interest in me whatsoever, which is fine because I'd really like to have a girlfriend anyway. I've also got the husband, of course, but he's so laid-back about the whole relationship thing that he really doesn't care if I have a gf or a bf or whatever, and he doesn't neccesarily care if he's involved, either. So that's working out for me.

Looking into getting an apprenticeship as a pro body piercer and working on my art while I'm doing that so I can hopefully apprentice as a tattoo artist at some point down the road. Still losing weight, I believe about 80 lbs now. Daily walking and stair-climbing is doing wonders for me, and when we get our room set up, I can start working out again and doing yoga. (I hate exercising in front of other people)...
  • Current Mood
    chipper chipper

Update

I spent last weekend in the hospital because I was off my meds and thinking very strongly about killing myself. I feel a bit better now, because I'm back on some of my meds-we couldn't afford all of them because it would have been $1100.00. No, that's not a typo. And that's just for a month's worth. Sooo I got Depakote, Klonopin, and Zoloft, and a doctor's appt. on the 17th at the clinic. That will cost $15, which we will hopefully have. If not, I'll have to call Dad. Again. Anywho...I tried yesterday to remember happy times with Mom, but it made me sadder. Why is that?
I'm so busy making gifts for Christmas, which I guess is a good thing. Also busy watching the nephew, which can be stressful, but very fulfilling. I wish we could have kids of our own, but I realized while in the hospital that it probably would not be a good thing to be off my meds for 9 months with pregnancy hormones running rampant in my body. So we'll adopt. Not a big deal. Hopefully that way we can have kids that won't have to deal with the same mental problems as mine. Or different ones, for that matter! Not that I would choose or not choose a child based on the state of their health, but it bothers me to think of other people dealing with what I deal with on a daily basis.
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative